Has this ever happened to you?

You get on an elevator full of complete strangers. Overhearing their spirited dialogue, you start to mutter as if you are, in fact, part of the in-flight discussion. Things like, “…umm-hmm…”, “…mmm…”, or perhaps “…great…” roll off your tongue as you nod and gesture in their direction. You arrive at your floor and depart, completely unaware of having uttered a single phrase.

Well, apparently this is something I do all the time!

In a fit of laughter, my wife recently conveyed this subconscious outer-dialogue to some friends over dinner. She does a great impression of me in this situation, with “GREAT!!” as the ultimate finale to my complete and utter lack of self awareness. It’s undeniably hilarious and part of the give-and-take that makes us such a great match.

When I started to think it over last night, it made my wonder what other nonsense I might be doing without knowing it. Am I calling out the names of colors when I see a brightly lit storefront? Do I sit in meetings and rock out to a song in my head? As I’m typing this very message, am I reading it aloud in a fake British accent? ….I perish at the thought….

Thank goodness for significant others who can help us laugh at ourselves when we need to the most. And what have I learned from all this? As normal as I think I am, we all have our booths in the great sideshow of life.

Let’s keep the conversation going.

If a company put out a press release stating that they anticipate filling over 193,000 jobs in the next two years, the public would stand up and take notice. If the firm provided strong benefits, a healthy retirement package, incredible job stability, opportunities in every possible field, positions in nearly every country (not to mention space and sea), one can easily imagine long lines of well dressed applicants with stacks of freshly printed resumes. The one big drawback? Brand equity. Unfortunately, this employer has a major PR problem that is extremely difficult to overcome.

Welcome to the Federal Government.

The Partnership for Public Service (PPS), a nonprofit dedicated to Federal employment, is doing everything it can to change the negative perception surrounding Federal employment. In it’s continuing series Where the Jobs Are: Mission Critical Opportunities for America, PPS drives home the fact that virtually every agency across every occupational field has positions to fill that keep our country running. For example, over 35,000 openings exist or will exist in Security, Protection and International Relations, including:

Department of Homeland Security - 23,746 (including Intelligence Analysis, Contact Representatives, Transportation Security Officers)

Department of Justice - 5,609 (including Correctional Officers, Intelligence Analysis, Security Administration)

Department of Defense - 4,886 (including Foreign Affairs, Intelligence Analysis, International Relations, Security Administration)

Department of State - 4,395 (including Foreign Affairs Specialists, Intelligence, Public Diplomacy)

Agency for International Development - 380 (including Foreign Service, Program Management)

Department of the Interior - 261 (including Park Rangers)

Despite all these great positions, the one challenge that PPS can’t correct is the application process. Many attractive and high potential workers may elect to pass on these jobs out of sheer necessity to earn. The entire onboarding cycle for a new candidate takes upwards of 90 to 180 days, at best. For more complex positions that require background screening and security clearances, this time can more than double. It takes a very dedicated applicant to sit idle for that long, so most go ahead and take “regular” jobs or begin employment with Federal contractors. With the latter, this may mean effectively doing the same job you desire without both the positives and negatives of Uncle Sam’s paycheck.

Unless and until this issue of efficient application processing, screening and onboarding is improved, one of the most prolific employers may miss the best and brightest our country has to offer.

Let’s keep the conversation going.

It’s good to be back in the States after a week of fun in the Caribbean. We swam with sting rays, got up close and personal with some curious sea turtles, snorkled, adventured and generally relaxed. I write this morning with my version of a tan (which means my freckles are just closer together and the sunburn isn’t too red) and feel invigorated and ready to attack the issues of the day.

With people, leadership and work issues always at the forefront of my mind, I offer two observations from the beach:

A Leap of Faith
We met a woman from North Carolina who offers a tale of great inspiration. A single mom with two grown children, Sarah had spent nearly twenty years moving through the ranks of corporate counsel on behalf of a Fortune 1000 software company. She was at the top of her game and was guiding the board of directors and President on any and all legal matters when she decided a change was in order. Sarah told me how she wasn’t even sure how she arrived at her current position, “accidentally” continuing a career for which she had no passion and truly dispised.

So one day, Sarah decided to enroll in massage therapist school. She did this in the margins of her full-time job and was told by the instructor that she didn’t have what it takes to be successful. Ignoring all road blocks, she pressed forward and attained her certification in record time. While in school, she built a business model with goals and specific objectives. Considered “very aggressive” and “unrealistic” by those around her, Sarah persisted and eventually took a leap of faith.

That was three years ago. Sarah now works for one of the most prestigious resorts in the world and has never been happier. Her advice for those who want to change careers and pursue their dreams? “Start small and break things down into micro-goals. This gives you a sense of progress and helps to adjust your objectives along the way.” The most difficult part of this change? “Overcoming the stereotypes placed upon you,” says Sarah, “because people come to see you as the person you are, not the person you could be.”

A Different Kind of Courage
As an avid reader and student of history, I was delighted to consume David McCullough’s wonderful “Mornings on Horseback: The Story of an Extraordinary Family, a Vanished Way of Life, and the Unique Child Who Became Theodore Roosevelt”. Winner of the National Book Award, this story delves into the fascinating history of the Roosevelts, including the philathropic deeds of Teddy’s passionate and driven father, Theodore Roosevelt senior, and the southern charms of his mother, Mittie Bulloch Roosevelt, a Georgia belle considered by some to be Margaret Mitchell’s inspiration for Scarlett O’Hara.

I strongly recommend this book. One walks away with the sense of the undying tenacity of young Teddy, overcoming his size (he was quite small), health (suffered from terrible bouts of asthma), voice (considered painfully high pitched) and complete inexperience with the “real world” to place his formidable stamp on our nation’s history. The reader will walk away with a new appreciation of how he was shaped and, in turn, helped shape with world we live in today.

Both Sarah and Teddy provide different lenses on how to attain one’s objectives. They share the belief in overcoming adversity to focus on capturing your dreams, at all costs, damn the consequences.

Let’s keep the conversation going.

A new study to be released this weekend by the Academy of Management shows that spiteful leaders tend to suffer no ill consequences for their actions. In fact, they tend to get promoted. Said the study’s authors:

“The fact that 64.2 percent of the respondents indicated that either nothing at all or something positive happened to the bad leader is rather remarkable — remarkably disturbing.”

Disturbing indeed, but perhaps not completely surprising to those of us who have worked with and for a litany of “interesting” executives. What was great about the study is that it points out the consequences of this type of malaise in the workplace, including insomnia, depression, exhaustion and even nightmares for the employees and subordinates of these lovely bosses.

So who’s to blame? Senior management, say the study’s authors:

“The leaders above them who did nothing, who rewarded and promoted bad leaders … represent an additional problem.”

The study will be presented at this weekend’s Academy of Management Annual Conference, entitled “Doing Well by Doing Good”. I won’t be in attendance and I’ll be doing well by doing nothing on vacation. We’ll keep the conversation going upon my return on August the 13th.

In the meantime, keep your head down and watch out for bad seeds in the workplace.

According to the results of the latest Salary.com 2007 Wasting Time Survey, you probably are. In fact, employees waste approximately 20% of a typical 8.5 hour work day. And guess what - younger employees (ages 20-29) waste anywhere between 10-25% more time than their older colleagues.

So what exactly are employees doing?
* Using the internet for personal needs (34.7%)
* Socializing with coworkers (20.3%)
* Conducting “personal business” (17%)

And why do they do it?
* They don’t have enough work to do (17.7%)
* Their hours are too long (13.9%)
* They are underpaid (11.8%)
* Their work isn’t challenging (11.1%)

Since employee productivity and work environments are such hot issues right now, I’d love to see comparable data for those who telework or leverage flex-time. Moreover, my concern about this data is that it’s purely focused on the quantity of work, not the quality of work. An employee could put in 15 hour days without the “distractions” itemized above, yet a more efficient and highly productive colleague could perhaps produce the same work product in 3 hours time. Are we focused more on attendance than results?

Let’s keep the conversation going.