I’ve been told that I am a master conversation killer. Is it a gift? I’m not sure, but in the past week alone I have managed to single-handedly grind over a dozen discussions to a screeching halt.

Conference calls? Killed. In-person meetings? No pulse on this one. Webinars? DOA. Even drinks with friends? Call the coroner.

So why, exactly, is this something to be proud of? And how does one wield this weapon to his or her advantage? Come closer to your screen. Yes, you. Let me explain…

Why You Need This Skill

Time is your number one enemy. You know when someone sighs and says, “I could sure use another 24 hours in the day!” and you politely chuckle? Sure, you hate that saying, but it is a kernel of truth that resonates with most of us.

American Public Media drove this point home in a recent segment on “Marketplace”. It cited a Labor Department report that productivity is at it’s highest level in six years. So those of you who are employed are busier than ever.

This means you don’t have time to listen to that annoying coworker. You need the meeting to either get to the point quickly or cut you loose. You have stuff to do, you need to get to it and you no do not have the luxury of sitting through a painful and endless diatribe on a topic that is either beat to death or meaningless to your life.

And it’s not just in the workplace. It’s also at home and plaguing our children. Team sports, school work and online activities are all contributing factors. In fact, Experian Simmons just released a report stating that, “Today’s American Children Are Busier Than Ever“.

Add to these issues the fact that we sometimes tend to over-intellectualize a topic. You know, beat it to a pulp. And all the while you’re just wishing you could move on with your life! Time to bring our the verbal machete and cut to the quick.

3 Ways To Kill A Conversation

Ok, these may not work for everyone, but I believe they have broad application. The only way to know is to try them out. But like a new cleaning product, you may want to test these in an area of your life that isn’t highly visible before applying it to the mainstream:

1. “Well, there you have it!“:

This one is very effective. After a long and drawn out discussion on a topic, you simply insert yourself into the mix and state in a clear and final voice, “Well, there you have it!“.

The key to this one is to hold out through the shocked pause that will follow. Don’t crack. When in person, have a very upbeat look on your face and even nod gently as if to say, “Think we’ve got this one covered everybody”. If you loose confidence, you can follow it with a quick segue into a topic you want to discuss.

2. “You’ve been so generous with your time.“

The is the gentle let down. You don’t want to hurt their feelings, but you really must move on. This one is funny because if you’ve ever been on the receiving end, it does make you pause and think about how long you’ve been speaking. Reactions will vary, but inevitably there is recognition that time has passed and it’s time to move on. Be prepared for the, “No problem, I have plenty of time” response. If that happens, follow with a quick glance at your watch (if in person) and, “Actually, I need to run“.

It’s clean, it wraps up nicely and no one gets hurt.

3. The Final Proclamation

This one takes some serious cojones. You are about to state the final truth on this topic and need to have confidence. If you’re in a meeting, this is the time to grab your notepad and pen and stand up. If out to dinner or at a bar, this is used right as you excuse yourself for the restroom. Remember, you are powerful and about to say something that is really somewhat trite and meaningless. Want an example? Sure.

Two weeks ago I was speaking with a financial analyst about our market. We were running in circles. He kept stating the same facts and spoke for fifteen minutes without a breath. Having had enough, I took the phone off mute and declared, “This market is fascinating, complex and frustrating.” He paused. Thirty seconds… then nearly a minute. He finally agreed. Conversation over.

Well, there you have it. You’ve been so generous with your time.

Be sure to let me know if these (or other tips and tricks) work for you by sharing in the comments section below. I have brilliant and sly readers and I know your techniques are top notch. Good luck killer and let’s (not) keep the conversation going.

This entry was posted on Friday, November 13th, 2009 at 4:01 pm and is filed under General Thoughts, Research. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.