I’ve been on the road quite a bit lately so my wife and I decided to treat ourselves and go see Kathy Griffin live at DAR’s Constitution Hall here in Washington, DC.  If you’re not familiar with Kathy, she is renowned for taking her real-life encounters and incorporating them into her comedy act using sarcasm, mockery and outright degradation.  Her material can be a cringer to some, but if you go in with the attitude that she’s making fun of everyone (including herself), she is absolutely hilarious.

Whether Kathy is your cup of tea or not, something she said in her show last night got me thinking.  Because her material is sourced from interactions with celebrities, they often ask her for a side deal to exclude their encounters from her act.  In other words, they seek reassurance that the conversation was private, privileged and wouldn’t come back to haunt them.  Of course, doing so would hurt Kathy’s “business”, so exclusions are obviously not in her interest.  Often times this has unexpected consequences and can makes A-listers want to avoid her at all costs, including some suing her for her statements.  Thus, our title question stands - is your HR department like Kathy Griffin?

I pose this comparison because I have witnessed a shift in HR’s brand perception over the years.  There was a time when HR was believed to represent the best interests of employees within the context of the employer.  This former persona ensured confidentiality, safe harbor and a highly privileged set of interactions.  Although this is a gross generalization and oversimplification, most employees today view HR as the enforcer of rules and regs, a literal mouth-piece of the executive committee.  So, like Kathy Griffin, many employees fear that anything they share with HR will not only get back to their manager, but negatively impact their prospects for future growth in the organization.  

This may be an unfair comparison as many HR professionals entered this vocation to truly help people. However, I have unfortunately been in the presence of hundreds of “HR Kathy Griffins” who cannot wait to share the juiciest bit of gossip and innermost secrets of the employees they support.  But unlike Kathy’s first amendment lawyer, your company may not protect you from litigation resulting from such indiscretions.  I have witnessed HR personnel fired on the spot for this behavior, but more often it is the employee who pays the ultimate price.  

Let’s face it - HR is a tough job and sometimes you want to let out a little steam.  Or perhaps you feel you are duty bound to go directly to an employee’s manager the moment a conversation is over.  My only request is to recognize that any action will have both intended and unintended consequences for you, management and the employee.  Be thoughtful and put yourself in their shoes.  Either that or quit your job, dye your hair red and start working the clubs.  

Let’s keep the conversation going. 

The numbers keep adding up and the impact on the global workforce could be staggering.  A litany of venerable and long-standing institutions have fallen victim to the current state of our nation’s increasingly fragile economic reality.  Let’s look at today’s potential body count:

• Lehman Brothers - 26,000 global employees; files for bankruptcy.
• AIG - 116,000 global employees; seeking lifeline from the Federal Reserve.
• Merrill Lynch - 60,000 global employees; acquired by Bank of America.
• HP - 320,000 global employees; announced 24,600 job cuts from EDS acquisition.

Those who lose their jobs may be provided job placement services, counseling and the like, but in the heat of the moment, does that all really matter?  And what of the employees who remain, the hundreds of thousands who are paralyzed into waiting for the other shoe to drop?  No one is the victor in these situations, for everyone loses due to fear, uncertainty, and doubt.

Regardless of what industry you occupy, we all get to a point where you simply take employment for granted.  You plan your life based on current earnings (and perhaps an annual bonus) combined with some measure of continued increase in your base salary.  You don’t necessarily envision yourself in your current firm forever, but you also don’t plan for the unexpected termination of your position.  You expect to make job and life decisions on your terms.  

The kick to the stomach of sudden unemployment can take your breath away.  Whimsy is replaced with the ugly reality that the end is here.  You wrack your brain to network, franticly reaching out to everyone and anyone who may be able to use your skills.  Then you pause, embarrassed perhaps to admit that you were unprepared and hadn’t really thought through what to do in this situation.

My advice is this - plan as if your last day were tomorrow.  This is not to suggest that you sit with your hand over the panic button, but instead that you’ve thought through a wide variety of scenarios and outcomes and ensured that you are prepared for the worst.  For those of us who run small businesses, this is a part of our everyday existence.  But I didn’t always think this way…. it took the shock of a horrific reality to shake me from the foundation of stability that I used to take for granted.  

My other piece of advice is to ask for help.  I find that this is more difficult the more senior you are, for ego gets in the way of your necessity to press on and seek assistance.  Do not go dark and insist on traveling this road alone.  It will take longer than you expect and you will miss opportunities through your insistence on isolation.  Talk with people you trust and learn from people you don’t.  A sense of vulnerability doesn’t really matter when you a faced with a stack of bills you suddenly can’t pay.

Finally, learn from the experience.  It’s always easy to get upset and blame others for your situation.  Of course others are to blame, and of course you should be upset, but you are responsible for your own career and no one else can carry that burden but you.  In these times of turmoil and uncertainty, your mettle will be exposed and tested.  You don’t have to win every battle, but you do have to press on.  Let’s keep the conversation going.

Although many have come before you, there is a certain allure to knowing you are one of a select few who have successful ascended HR’s most challenging mountains.  Over the years, certain peaks seem to be more allusive, their summits cloudy and uncertain.  As of late, the world of talent management presents an Everest-like dichotomy of the ultimate HR achievement with the possibility of horrific failure.

Strap on your harness, grab an ice axe and join Inflexion Advisors at IQPC’s 11th Annual Talent Management Summit.  Scheduled for October 20th - 23rd in Las Vegas, world class climbers such as Avon, MetLife, CSX and Harrah’s will be sharing their secrets to conquering the talent management mountain.  And for those who like (climbing) shoes, stick around for the tour of Zappos and a behind-the-scenes look at this fascinating organizational culture.

Climbers should never summit alone, so Inflexion has secured a special 2-for-1 discount for our readers.  Simply visit www.iqpc.com/us/TalentManagementSummit or call 1-800-882-8684 and mention code IUS_IP_001 to receive your discount.  

I’ll look forward to seeing you there and keeping the conversation (and ascension) going.

The good folks at Great Leadership by Dan have posted their third installment of the Leadership Development Carnival.  And the theme?  

“This month’s edition takes a political flavor. Recently, a new vice-president candidate has emerged out of nowhere, Sarah Palin, from “the great state of Alaska”. She’s taken a lot of media criticism for her lack of leadership experience, so I thought I’d dedicate this carnival to her, as a way to help get her ramped up for her new potential leadership role.”

Like most things political, morbid curiosity will cause you to click through.  Don’t be shy…but before you leave I have some homework for you.  Come up with an HR related comparison that ends in the punch-line ”Lipstick!”.  Here are a few to get you warmed up:

• What’s the difference between a qualified corporate climber and a cross-dressing high performer?
• If your HR strategy plan were a pig, what would it be missing?

Let’s keep the conversation going and hockey mom anger under control.

I’ve had fourteen days respite from the cacophony of noise which swirls about the heads of our glorious HR market.  I haven’t picked up a trade magazine, attended a conference or drawn obvious human resources correlations using metaphorical hurricanes, presidential candidates or Michael Phelps.  No press interviews.  No white papers.  No self-important statements predicting the rise and fall of Vendor X or Strategy Y.  No table and no seat.  

Like a windsurfer who can’t turn, I drifted further from the shores of the obsessive, multi-media, real-time update world of industry analysis.  It wasn’t a conscious choice, but the wind kept blowing and the horizon seemed endless.  This wasn’t the product of a vacation or a woodsy retreat with only pocket knife and compass.  It was purely accidental.  I was busy dealing with the complexities of life, work and everything that comes with it.

I share this because it was during this time of contemplation that I remembered something important.  We are in the people business.  Not some fluffy, eye-roll inducing, feel-good/do-good version of HR, but the true business of people.  And whether we like to admit it or not, lives are impacted by the daily decisions we make as human resource professionals.  Often in the throws of impersonal analysis and macro strategies, we forget the champagne of a job well done and the tears of a career suddenly ended.  

I’ve heard a lot in the past few weeks by simply listening.  In coffee shops, the airport, the grocery store and the conference room.  Often, the sound is that of living life around work… sometimes, in spite of work.  A quiet desperation where “Keep your head down” and “Stay off the radar” rue the day.  This troubles me and makes me wonder whether we’re actually hearing what employees are saying, what keeps them up at night, what impacts their ability and willingness to do more than the minimum amount to get by day after day.

Don’t worry though, my natural tendency toward sarcasm will return.  I’ll get back on the horse and ride around with big consultant speak and peer again into the crystal ball.  But to survive in such a challenging industry as ours, it sometimes helps to pause, take stock of our collective purpose and recharge the batteries.  We’re a constant dichotomy between cynicism and hope, but our collective success will require fresh eyes and a clean lens.  If not for the temptation of actually making a difference, why would we torture ourselves by working in HR?  Let’s keep the conversation going. 

It’s an inevitable and sometimes uncomfortable situation.  You’re in a meeting or on a conference call and not everyone has arrived, requiring you to banter with the client/boss/partner mano y mano.  How do you engage in small talk and build rapport?  If you get nervous and start to stammer, what do you do?  Do people even care about small talk in today’s fast-paced business world?

Whether we like it or not, small talk is a necessary skill for corporate survival.  But there is a distinct difference between thoughtful engagement and outright BS (believe me, I’ve done both).  There are endless sources available on this topic but here are my four tips for leaving a positive impression:

1. Do Your Homework.  If you arrive empty handed to the situation, you are likely to stumble.  Gather nominal information on the person’s location, interests, family situation, etc.  The goal is to find something relevant to discuss.  Did they just take a vacation or are they planning one?  Did some major news/weather event just occur in their geography?  Are they an aficionado of writing?…sports?…movies?…dogs?  A little legwork can go a long way.
2. Make It About Them.  The temptation to bring the conversation back to you is often irresistible.  The goal here is not to demonstrate your Renaissance-like expertise but instead to show genuine interest in the other party.  This is done through a series of open ended questions (i.e., not ”yes”/”no”) that get them engaged in a topic they are experts in - themselves and their lives.  
3. Be Genuine.  This is the easiest for me to write and often the most difficult to execute.  Just remember that people can be absolutely fascinating, so pay attention, maintain eye contact (if in person), provide verbal reinforcement and repeat a portion of what they conveyed as you segue into the next question.  Pretend you had to write an essay about this person’s life and you really want to figure out what makes them tick.
4. Know When to Put the Shovel Down.  If you are digging a hole and things go south, stop the small talk immediately.  As desperation and anxiety build, the smell of BS tends to get stronger.  Immediately cut to something related to the meeting or, if necessary, excuse yourself for a moment to grab a cup of coffee or ask where the restrooms are located.  They will appreciate your level of situational awareness and you will want a small window to regroup.

My colleagues who read this blog all have an example of where I’ve failed miserably in this area.  In fact, most have seen me crash and burn with seemingly endless stories and outright humiliating behavior.  If the strongest lessons in life come from failure, I am an expert on small talk.  

One quick example is the time a new executive was moving into his office and I examined a framed portrait on his desk.  ”Great picture of you and your brother Jim!”, I proclaimed with a smile.  ”That’s my wife.” said Jim morosely, snatching the picture from my hands.  I backed out of his office slowly.  For some reason Jim and I never got along from that point forward.

Let’s keep the conversation small talk going.   

A female friend of mine was having a conversation with her female colleague the other day and they were discussing the etiquette and courtesy associated with men holding doors for women.  The colleague saw clear and distinct geographical differences in the answer to this question, with Southern men trained as automatic door holders while Northern (particularly Northeastern) men seemed less inclined to notice or care.  Both agreed that this was a polite gesture, particularly if one’s hands were full, and were irritated with those men who did not have the slightest inclination to help.

Cut to a conversation with a male colleague who went to a university heralded for it’s human resources program.  The professor of one HR course went so far as to convey that it is sexist and inappropriate for a man to hold a door for a woman, and that in the workplace, one needs to be overtly aware of how such actions can cause offense.  The conclusion?  Avoid door-holding at all costs.

In her book The Etiquette Edge, Beverly Langford posed the following question to test your courtesy quotient.  Which answers would you choose?

When you reach the doorway at the same time as a person of the opposite sex, the following rules apply: (pg. 13)

(a) Whoever arrives first should open it and hold it for those who are following.
(b) Men should still open doors for women.
(c) Women should open doors for men to prove they are no longer oppressed.
(d) Always open and hold the door for someone of either sex if that person has his or her hands full.

According to Landford, the answer is both (a) and (d), and I tend to agree.  

That’s right - I say with pride that I am an unabashed door holder.  As for geography, I was mostly raised in the Midwest, went to school in the South, lived in the West and now live in the East.  I have never had anyone of either sex scoff at the idea of me holding the door.  (If anything, I tend to get a little pissy with people who don’t say thank you, but that’s for another post.)  For me, holding doors is just polite, regardless of ones sex.  And sometimes, in today’s busy and impersonal world, one simple gesture can go a long way.  Let’s keep the conversation (and door holding) going.

It all began when I was a young boy growing up in the suburbs of Milwaukee. My older brother and I would turn on the sprinklers at dusk, sipping on Kool-Aid as we waited for the sun to drop and the grass to fully saturate. Grabbing our flashlights, we’d slosh onto the soggy lawn to stalk the objects of our desire - Nightcrawlers. These are the big, fat, juicy earthworms that are the lifeblood of a Midwestern fisherman. Squirming and diving, the faceless creatures would be collected en masse, dropped by the dozen onto a dirt bed within cheap styrofoam containers.  We had an enterprise, and signs all over town pointed to our house, where “M & M Worms” (Mike and Mark…very creative, I know) was headquartered.

In the very early morning, the alarm would ring, the garage was opened and the fishermen would come.  We sold a lot of worms and had a very good client base.  But even at the age of eight, I had a sense that the worm business may not the right long-term strategy for me.  I had learned a lot about marketing, product management, packaging and operations, so I took those lessons, found a new and growing trade (recycling cans & bottles), and pushed my career forward.  Almost thirty years later - and with the benefit of hindsight - I can easily count over twenty such instances where I shapeshifted my career into something new.  

Business humorist Tom Stern writes about this is his Fast Company article, “The Skills Portability Factor“.  Stern speaks to the fact that employees are consciously taking jobs to add specific skills which allow them to be more marketable somewhere else.  They tend to drop in, learn something on your watch, and then jump.  Stern chalks this up (with a smirk) to today’s job reality:

“We all want to make sure we are ready for every eventuality the shrinking job market might throw at us. It’s all about survival. Corporations once owned us and kept us dancing to their tune. Now a new crop of skill-set hustlers, who strut into the metaphorical pool hall of their workforce and clean up on a sucker bet, are challenging them. Today’s job market is doing double time as the University of Turnover. And you know us Americans. Between our denial and our tenacity, eventually we will begin to feel that we really can fill any position that might come our way.”

I think that when push comes to shove, most employees are opportunistic, searching for those elusive characteristics that can fill the happiness-gap in their careers and lives.  And once they land that next job, the cycle repeats until it’s time to move onto greener pastures.  A lot of the people I know in this situation either bore easily, want the challenge of something new, or can only tolerate the inevitable frustrations they encounter for a fixed period of time.  

Regardless of the reason, employers will be challenged by the shapeshifters.  They will take any form you’d like, learn on the job, and then leave you scratching your head wondering what ever happened to them.  As a former worm salesman, I know it can be done.  Let’s keep the conversation going. 

In watching coverage of the games last evening, my wife and I were discussing the overwhelming complexity involved in managing and deploying the Olympics.  With so many nations each carrying such unique agendas and goals, what overarching principles are applied to such a multifaceted assembly?  What procedures are in place to ensure proper philosophical governance of an event with such global implications?  

After a simple search, I came upon the site of the International Olympic Committee (IOC), a place teeming with information and history.  What caught my eye was not the obvious data on site selection, symbolism or management, but instead the Olympic Charter.  The Charter is 104 pages in length and contains every conceivable rule and regulation associated with the Olympics.  

What stopped me in my tracks were The Fundamental Principles of Olympism (pg. 11).  I read these through and immediate wished that employers could convey such a simple set of ideals to their employees.  In replacing the word “sport” with “work”, I think you’ll see my point:

Most employees walk around every day with a ready supply of hand grenades.  Some are thrown at coworkers during times of duress.  Others get rolled into the boss’ office when credit is taken for something you worked weekends to complete.  But the most explosive, destructive and damaging we save for ourselves.  This is the overarching point of Gen Xer Jason Seiden’s sarcastic book, “How to Self-Destruct: Making the Least of What’s Left of Your Career“.

How to Self-Destruct provides a useful thought-exercise when considering the frustrations of your own career trajectory.  So many of us are concerned about what we should be doing to succeed in the workplace.  Seiden takes the opposite approach – what should you do if you were trying to ruin your career?   Shockingly, the behaviors that could ruin your career are identical to the “play it safe” strategy most of us use to advance and protect our careers – being defensive, not taking risks and making sure that blame falls on someone else.  

Recognizing behaviors to avoid can be equally, if not more, useful to career advancement than focusing on behaviors to adopt.  It will take several pages to get used to the reverse language in the book.  And sadly, I’m convinced there are some readers who won’t get the point and may actually employ Seiden’s advice literally.  Flame on brother, flame on….

If you want an entertaining snapshot, take a look at Seiden’s “explosive trailer” below.  Let’s keep those grenades at the ready and the conversation going.